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Wound Up

"Life gave me lemonade and I can't imagine why." -Chris Rice
Oct 16 '14
smolderingtroyler:

heartyglobe:

nobody says it but we all know what this is about

This picture is weirdly genius

smolderingtroyler:

heartyglobe:

nobody says it but we all know what this is about

This picture is weirdly genius

(Source: moseisleywelcomingcommittee)

Oct 15 '14

(Source: lickgold)

Oct 15 '14
wordsofdiana:

tastefullyoffensive:

How babies are born in Canada. [via]

Hey! That’s not how they’re born, that’s just how we find them, in our maple syrup buckets. No one knows how the fuck they’re born.

wordsofdiana:

tastefullyoffensive:

How babies are born in Canada. [via]

Hey! That’s not how they’re born, that’s just how we find them, in our maple syrup buckets. No one knows how the fuck they’re born.

Oct 15 '14

yeah-ditto-obvs:

literally all i want is to fall asleep on someone

that’s it

that’s all

i’m very tired and i want to lay my head on someone’s stomach and have them run their fingers through my hair and sleep

Oct 15 '14

spoooky-punk:

I FOUND A KIM POSSIBLE DOLL AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT

Oct 15 '14

the-potter-tardis:

wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:

princeharrehs:

princeharrehs:

omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!

guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just

image

I ship it

I ship it hard

Oct 15 '14

16yrold:

this is too good

Oct 15 '14

(Source: huffingtonpost)

Oct 15 '14
mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.

So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.

Weird right?

I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.

After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.

She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 

This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.

Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

Oct 15 '14

leonardbonesy:

whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.

Oct 15 '14
Oct 15 '14
  • me yesterday night : lol who needs sleep
  • me today: i do. i need sleep.
  • me tonight: lol who needs sleep
Oct 15 '14
missmirandaaraee:

THIS COULDNT BE MORE TRUE

missmirandaaraee:

THIS COULDNT BE MORE TRUE

Oct 15 '14

mazeltoph:

how can we believe the dates written on historical documents when the other day i wrote january 2010 on one of my papers

Oct 15 '14

queenbroslob:

plasteredd:

weloveshortvideos:

Asian girl does terrifyingly weird cup song

im pretty sure this is my life in one video

This girl is everything